Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich Visit Zoo Together, Disappointed To Find Out Unicorns Aren’t Real

In a bipartisan effort to come together on a few issues, Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) and Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) decided to take a day and travel to the National Zoo. They were hoping that they could mend their polarizing differences by coming together on one common interest… Unicorns.

To their dismay, upon arriving at the zoo and looking at what exhibits are available they were aghast to realize that there was no Unicorn sanctuary. They quickly went to the zookeeper to find out why they did not feature such a treasured creature in of all places, the National Zoo.

The zookeeper quickly notified them that Unicorns are a fictional creature that have gained notoriety through fantasy novels and art. After hearing this deeply disconcerting information, Paul and Kucinich refused to believe that this was possible. They have lived their entire lives believing in something that didn’t exist, nor would ever exist on this planet.


Distressed, Paul and Kucinich returned to the Capital knowing that one of their only common bonds that held them together was now forever severed. Next month, they are planning to visit Narnia together to hopefully hold together some semblance of commonality.

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