Former President Reagan Appears On Arkansas Conservative’s Morning Toast

It was like something from out of a movie. This past Tuesday morning in Arkansas, conservative Richard Masterson had something miraculous happen to him. As he prepared his morning breakfast of bacon, eggs, pancakes, hash browns, cereal, grits, toast, and coffee he noticed something on his toast as it emerged from the toaster. It was none other than the image of former President Ronald Reagan.

He knew immediately that it must be a sign from God. He ran to show his wife and children, who were also dumbfounded by this rare sighting of the conservative deity. “He’s always watching” said Richard feeling too afraid to touch the toast again, fearing he may tarnish the image of the supply side economic creator.


When asked what he would do with the toast he replied, “I plan on selling it to the highest bidder then donating the money to the local Tea Party.” Which we can only assume would be exactly what “The Gipper” would’ve wanted him to do.

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