Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit today in the New York Supreme Court against the Republican National Committee for what he is calling “egregious misrepresentation of his statements and image.”
One of the attorneys representing Christ had this to say:
“For years Republicans have proclaimed their love for and loyalty to Jesus, yet their actions are highly contradictory to what Mr. Christ preached. Instead of helping the poor and the sick GOP instead punishes the poor and the sickly.
Our client isn’t telling the GOP what their agenda should be, he simply wants them to stop using his name when their actions contradict everything he stood for.
If the GOP would like to continue using his name they have to start making a significant effort to help the poor and the sick, instead of the rich, and start promoting a more peaceful agenda.”
When asked about the lawsuit, House Speaker John Boehner made the following remarks:
“Mr. Christ is entitled to his opinion, however the GOP believes that the underlying message in the Bible is that giving tax cuts to the wealthy is the true path to happiness.
I don’t know where Mr. Christ thinks the Bible says to help the poor and the sick, but that sounds awfully socialistic to me, and we are not a socialist country.”
The lawsuit goes even further than just spoken word references to Jesus. According to the suit “images that inaccurately depict Jesus Christ, who was born in Middle Eastern country, as a Caucasian man with light skin, can no longer be displayed by political officials who claim they understand the Bible.”
Sarah Palin was at an event in Iowa today, and on camera, when a member of the crowd asked how she feels about Mr. Christ’s lawsuit. The crowd member simply asked her “have you heard that Jesus Christ is suing the GOP?”, to which former Governor Palin replied:
“Well, ya know, I don’t think Mr. Christ has a real understanding of what the GOP is trying to do to save America from the socialist death-spiral Obama has put us into.
In the Bible it states “work hard, and pull yourself up without any Government aide. If you need help from Caesar you are probably doing something wrong”, which clearly shows that Jesus wants Americans to hunker down and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
In the Bible it also states “go to the market and purchase good wares. Reward merchants with money, and God will smile upon you” which, I believe, shows that Jesus really wanted us to live in a free-market society.
Don’t forget the story of Noah’s Ark where God commanded Noah to build an Ark and take everyone except the poor and sickly away from people who were trying to steal their hard earned Gold.
Also, I’ve read the Bible plenty of times and I’ve never heard him say we should give welfare and food stamps to lazy people who don’t deserve it, which is what this Obama Administration is trying to do. They’re trying to make this country lazy and since Jesus was a man who did quite a bit of walking I would hope he would oppose such things.
Times have changed and I, for one, believe Christ is just confused and should probably re-read that most holy of books, the book that so many good, real Americans swear by, and just see, just really see, if he can get in there, ya know, and figure out if possibly he might have missed something. That’s what I would suggest Mr. Christ do.”
The media was quick to point out the many factual inaccuracies in former Governor Palin’s statement, but she fired back on Fox News today saying it was a “gotcha question” from the “liberal elite media”.
Mr. Christ’s lawsuit is set to move forward later this month. When asked if he would also be interested in filing a lawsuit for slanderous remarks made in the past, Allah declined comment.
Testing
How absurd for man to put the Sovereign Lord Jesus Christ on trail! The creature putting the Creator on trial, Wow!
And how absurd to assume all Rep, or Dem, are true born again Christians?
Only those the Father gives the Son are regenerate and have saving Faith, no one else
And Those true believers will and do feed the hungry!
All religions have GODS. How do you know that JESUS CHRIST is the CREATOR?
He raised men from the dead. He raised himself from death. Jesus is the one who is, and was, and is to come. Jesus is the only “religous leader” to claim he is God AND back it up with His actions.
How absurd to think man can put the Sovereign Jesus Christ on trail.
The creature can not put the Creator on trial.
And how asurd to assume all these people in congress wether Rep. of Dem are true Born Again Christians..
Only those the Father gives the Son will be saved..And those elect do feed the hungry.
C’mon, everybody knows you can’t file a lawsuit in the New York Supreme Court. Who are these guys trying to kid? Jesus would never do that anyway. He would just turn the other cheek. And the GOP would slap Him again.
Or he would throw a tantrum and toss some tables around.
As a follower of Christ, I do not find this satire offensive and am sorry that some other Christians seem to do so. Bother and sisters in Christ, our Lord is not so fragile and certainly does not need our anger….and if such satire stirred even one person to be more mindful and gracious towards the poor, I suspect He would approve.
I agree with Mr. Finchman. I to am a follower of Christ and I applaud the author Corey Banks for getting the true point across. I have felt this for years, yet did not have the same talent to get the message and feelings across so simply and honestly. I hate that THOSE people say they represent Christians, as they do not represent me and many other Christians I know. From all I know about Christ and his teachings, these people are the polar opposite of what He lived and died for. I pray for their souls, beacause they are in big trouble when they do finally come face to face with Him for their judgement.
Thanks for the compliment! Check back soon for the next part of the story.
Yes! What’s the matter with you! Liberals cannot abide conservatives! Liberals have no substance, only emotion and self-absorption. So they are ill-equipped to have real conversations. They must quickly revert to vitriol and character attack. So why are you intruding on their delusions?
This is a satire site, dummy. Save your serious conversations and your whines for a REAL news site.
And for real thinkers?
OMG… do you not hear yourself? While pointing that vitriolic finger, you have the rest and more pointing back at yourself. Look in the mirror and try to say that without turning into salt!
All religions are CULTS. All religious followers are CULTISTS.
Each religion has his GOD. So, who among those GODS is the CREATOR?
Aren’t you concerned that the inappropriate use of capitalization makes you seem like just as much of a nutjob as you think the people you’re commenting on are? Religion is a structure that serves to unify a culture when other forces cannot. It allows for a structure of unstructured, undefined things, and lets people integrate transcendental experience into their everyday lives. Clearly, a belief system based around faith doesn’t need to get itself confused with the facts, so there’s no point telling them that other religions have their own gods. Either they will just insist that theirs is the only one and the other ones are false, or they might take the C.S. Lewis approach and say that all gods are the same god. Did you have an _actual_ point?
I guess you did not get my point.
ALL GODS ARE HUMAN INVENTIONS. THERE IS NO CREATOR.
In other words, RELIGIONS are CULTS and RELIGIOUS FOLLOWERS are CULTISTS.
So, you agree with my point.
jesus is like the republicans… completely clueless and irrelevant to reality
The virgin birth story had been recycled several times and was popular in mythologies. Time for modern men to accept that JESUS CHRIST was a fictional character.
Stories in the Bible are fictional. God, heaven, and hell are human inventions.
How did Noah and family build the Ark? Where did they get the trees? How did they make lumbers from those trees? How did they gather all the animals? What did they feed all the animals? How did they clean-up the doodoos of the animals? the Noah’s Ark story was fiction.
Too bad your god is only as big as your ability to comprehend him! The God you are denying is not impressed with your machinations…
Also, how did Noah get the marsupials from Australia, Silversword plants from Hawaii, Polar Bears from the artic, etc.?
How about dinosaurs?
Of course the disease carrying Tsetse fly had to be saved.
Where was the Cholera, Ebola, etc stored safely?
Have a great day!
Is this a joke?
Look at “single cells”. How does the DNA work like an assembly line without a programmer? How does our body automatically correct damaged DNA cells? When did the universe begin? What came before? When did time begin? Where does the universe end? Explain “infinity”: how can anything never have an end? How is life possible?
If FAITH is the evidence of things unseen, then how does your belief in science justify your beginning: science concludes that anything that’s considered “fact” must be observable and repeatable? Where are the BILLIONS of trans-species fossils from the billions of years of evolution? If this world is billions of years old, why does the decaying radiation level surrounding the earth indicate it’s in fact, only a couple of thousand?
How do you explain butterflies? According to evolution, they should remain at a butterfly, not go back to being a caterpillar! How do you explain seeds? Do you have any idea how a seed works or how incredibly complex it is?
And your question is about the ark? Dude, look at your own belief! It takes more faith to be an atheist than to believe in a creator!
So, before the creation of the Bible, what was there? Who did the people worship?
Whatever happened to the all the GODS of the Egyptians, Greeks, Romans and Pagans? After a generation decided there should only be ONE GOD, all those GODS instantly DISAPPEARED. And yet, modern men do not believe GODS are human inventions.
Only those who have read the bible have the right to question it. After they read it, they have no desire to make stupid accusations.—They built the ark according to the comple direction (each phase is in the account in the bible); They got the trees just like we do today–gopher wood is a common wood we see everywhere today, by its newewr name. They used crosscut saws just like country woods men do today. God cause all the animal to enter the ark without anyone driving them in. He know how to talk to all the creatures he made. They fed the animals the same type of feed farmers have used for ages. They were possible baby animals. They probably cleaned up the doodoo like we do today. You don’t know its fiction unless you read the account. The ark of noahs time was longer than a football field almost as wide as the field. Many many ‘stories’ high. It was the exact shape that shipbuilders still use today. It was a barge.with a flat bottom. Look it up. Be still and know that God is.
And you believe that Noah and family did all that? How long did it take them to build the TITANIC SIZED ark?
So GOD made the animals to board the ark. OK. LMAO
I’ve read the Bible cover to cover 4 times and studied it for 12 years. I feel the need to question just about everything in it.
Jesus Christ’s existence is historical fact. “Virgin birth had been recycled” several times – nice way to twist the facts!
The idea that a world with an incredibly complex environment, every intricate detail, every molecule, every star in the universe was all created by chance is insane. Almost every culture has historical records of a world wide flood.
Consider the story of Jesus Christ. 11 men (his disciples) died proclaiming that He had risen again after He was crucified. How often do men, under the pressure of death, hold fast to a lie? If they didn’t KNOW eternity was awaiting them once they passed the boundary of death, why would they hold onto a lie?
If you really investigate the facts, you’ll see that God’s existence is established fact. If you look at evolution with blind faith, it’s easy to believe, but where does moral law come from? Why are all humans striving to do what is “good” if this truly is “survival of the fittest”? Why don’t we support murder, and why, if no God exists, are we demanding that the rich pay more in taxes? SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!
If you want Christians to stick by their beliefs of giving to the poor, sure. Stick by your belief that this world is pointless and stop complaining about the rich not being taxed enough. It’s survival, and they are the fittest.
Not ONE CHRISTIAN or PERSON can explain why we celebrate the birth of JESUS on December 25 while insisting that JESUS was not born that day.
Not ONE CHRISTIAN or PERSON can tell when JESUS WAS BORN.
Based on the VIRGIN BIRTH, a very young virgin MARY was impregnated by GOD. One can argue that GOD, therefore, was a CHILD MOLESTER.
Whatever happened to ALL THE GODS of the Egyptians, Greeks, Romans and Pagans?
Which of the GODS humans invented is the CREATOR?
If the Bible was not created, what kind of religions would we have?
What was the history behind the CREATION OF THE BIBLE? Who wanted the creation of the Bible and WHY?
Fred,
Time to adjust your meds……the existence of your god is in no way established fact, no matter how much you would like it to be
#1. Your writing is a lame parody, insults disguised as satire.
#2. Suppose “Jesus the Carpenter” tried to ask a question at a town hall. Would he be demonized by the Democrats?
#3. As a Republican spending my life among the poor on purpose, I really resent the accusation that no Republicans believe in helping the poor. I, for one, believe that the poor are helped when they are enabled to prosper, not when they are enslaved to a government check. There are solutions that work, and they are ignored by leaders in both parties.
I have more pearls, but I’ll wait until later.
Johson,
you are not acting like a a Republican. You should read the bylaws again. It’s not a bad thing and it’s good to have you on our side. You know about the eye of the needle and getting the rich man into heaven. And of of course Jesus didn’t make the lepers pay, don’t you?
As for number two, There are lots of working class Democrats. Who do you think supports the rich? They would gladly accept Christ, but they may ask him to join a Labor Union.
@Johson Allan
I do not think most are accusing all republicans of this. I do not. Only the ones who use their wealth and position to the detriment of the poor class and the middle class.
Bravo for helping the poor.
I have a problem with the rich (or anyone) who doesn’t help the poor, who ignore the teaching of Jesus in his own clear, no conditions, and unequivocal statements in Matthew,
Matthew
9:16 And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?
19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
19:18 He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
19:19 Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
19:20 The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?
19:21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
19:22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.
19:23 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.
19:24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
Jesus could not have been clearer here. There is no equivocation, there are no conditions.
It bears repeating; Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor – THEN and only THEN(after completing this deed) – come and follow me.
That is perfectly clear, so clear that his disciples replied thusly,
19:27 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?
Johnson Allan …
Stop crying about reality.
While this post was obviously satirical, it was 100% TRUE.
Your ridiculous Republican Party has been hiding behind Christ to purport the most selfish, hateful things for years now.
Instead of throwing another tantrum, why don’t you try explaining how the GOP can embrace AYN RAND’s Atlas Shrugged “ME! ME! M! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! & SCREW YOU” thinking when she herself said her philosophy is 100% contradictory to that of Jesus Christ?
I’d pretend to wait but unlike you, I don’t enable farces.
YOU CAN’T.
THE GOP IS A JOKE & THEY BLASPHEME BY INVOKING CHRIST’S NAME TO PERPETUATE THEIR SELFISH GOALS & BRAIN-WASH A STUPID, BLIND ELECTORATE.
FACT: GOP = PSEUDO-CHRISTIANS
“There are 2,000 verses of Scripture that tell us we must be committed to protecting the poor and the oppressed… There is no concern of Scripture that is addressed so often and so powerfully as reaching out to the poor.” Pastor Tony Compolo, Ph.D.
So get with the program & switch over to the good party – DEMS!
Honestly, is it possible for anybody who considers themselves “liberal” to act like a grown up and have an adult conversation? I understand when you’re liberal and the whole world supports you, you can call somebody names and everyone will pretend you made a rational point. You are speaking like we’re 12 year olds in a playground calling each other names. “THE GOP IS A JOKE” “FACT: GOP = PSEUDO”, I’d love to see your statistics proving this unequivocal “fact”.
Watch this: FACT: DEMS = IRRATIONAL CRYBABIES
Does this make it a fact? Because I typed it in caps?
Grow up, speak like an adult. I TYPE IN CAPS I’M MAKING A POINT! NOBODY WILL ARGUE WITH ME OR STOP ME BECAUSE THEY ALL AGREE!
FACTS? WHO NEEDS FACTS! GOP = EVIL BECAUSE I SAY SO!
If you DEMS who are running the country are so compassionate, CUT the salaries of everyone in office and give it to the poor! How about your president, the same one who preaches the important of giving to the poor. When his income exceeded over a million dollars prior to his presidency in 2007, he donated less than 1% to charity! BUT EVERYBODY ELSE IN AMERICA SHOULD BE FORCED TO DONATE!
God gave people the choice of free will. Notice when Jesus told the rich young man to sell everything and follow Him, the rich young man had a choice. He chose to walk away. If we really want to follow Christ’s example, we should encourage people to give to the poor, but let them choose.
If you believe everything in the Bible, you need a TEAM OF PSYCHIATRISTS to help you get in touch with REALITY.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that men have free will. In fact, The Bible says that men are born sinners and totally depraved. The Bible states that Men will always chose sin and can only be changed by the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit completely seperate from themselves.Everyone is entitled to their opinion but if you are going to quote the Bible or anything else why don’t you read it ? I guess some folks are too busy blimping their self righteous egos around the room.
The irony is that millions of shitting insane Christian Republinazis will believe this story is real.
Of course, Jesus would never get into politics, and he would never declare himself a liberal, conservative, Democrat or Republican. The reason is, as he said, “My kingdom is not of this world.”
He also said, “Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s.”
Wow! What an exquisite example of the intellectually vacuous! Typical of liberals. No substance, just vitriol…
And of course we never hear anything intellectually vacuous or vitriolic from the conservatives?
Did you mean for your response to be exactly what you are accusing liberals of, or are you just TRYING to be ironic? I’d wager it wasn’t on purpose.
My comments are always genuine. Disingenuousness, is not just s liberal tactic, but an actual strategy.
This article so lacks anything akin to what Jesus stands for, IS, and would want his name associated with. And this thread so lacks the UNITY we felt, as Americans, 10 years ago come Sunday. It all just makes me totally sad.
Maybe another 9/11 would make you feel better? The writer is absolutely correct. Republicans have made a mockery of Christianity. THAT is why they will fail.
You’re absolutely right Kevin, well said.
The ultimate hypocrite is a democrat/liberal. Claiming to care about people, while enslaving them to entitlements for the purpose of perpetuating power over them.
THAT’s a load of crap. You are trying to say not helping people is kinder and helping people is enslaving them. Nice try. Thats rediculous and thinly veiled greed.
The GOP should really begin backing the old Catholic church so they can begin a new inquisition and torture people for being heretics.
People who hate people of principle usually are trying to avoid personal accountability for their behavior….
All the above should be read to a mandatory meeting of all members of the U.S. Congressional houses – IMO. Maybe they would BEGIN to understand it all (or most of it).
well here is the link to MY article published on July29th… looks like plagurism to me.
I’m only going to address the stupidity of your comment once.
I wrote this article. I’d never seen your article before I wrote it. Your article isn’t even funny, and our articles aren’t even REMOTELY similar. Search “Jesus sues…” on Google and see how many articles come up. Unless you own the market on articles about Jesus filing a lawsuit, which you don’t, my article isn’t plagiarized.
If you’d like to file a complaint with the online cyber crimes division of the FBI in regards to this issue, you can go here: http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx
You should really do some research on what “plagiarism” means though, and learn how to spell it correctly before you accuse people of doing it. This article is 100% original.
I don’t believe you; and I did Google as you said. My article and yours are the only two satirical pieces which were returned on the search. As far as what is funny, that is a matter of taste I suppose. Technically by definition I guess it isn’t “plagiarism” (sorry spelling nazi) but there are enough similarities that I stand by my belief that you did see my article and took the idea from it. Stupid I am not; at least not by MENSA standards. My IQ is 156, what is yours?
What would Jesus say to this petty fight over idea ownership ?? I read both articles, and they are slanted to make entirely different points — Peace.
I agree with Tammy, but I also googled the term ‘Jesus sues’ and came up with a BUNCH of articles. I don’t know how you only found 2 with an IQ of 156.
You can both take credit for writing stupid articles. If liberals help the poor so much, why are the suffering more than ever now that we have such a socialist liberal in the white house?
Online IQ tests give almost everyone very high scores. He mentioned “MENSA standards”, but I doubt he is a member. Even if by chance he did qualify at one time, IQs are not static. They do indeed change over time, as evidenced by his submensa comments.
Louis,
America was founded on socialism, and from the very beginning, is ingrained within our Constitution, the Supreme Law of the Land.
“We the People”, remember?
Tweeeeeet!!!
Automatic disqualification of Rey’n due to publicly declaring his own IQ as if anybody gives a shite.
Fight is called in favor of Corey.
And the really funny thing is; the fact that I submitted a copy of my article to the Free Wood Post the VERY DAY that they published your story. I bet dollars to doughnuts that you know Sarah Woods personally and have access to her emails.
I read your email after this was posted. Do not throw accusations you are ill-prepared to prove. No one has access to my email but me. In fact, Corey notified me of his article days before you even contacted me.
Oh the total irony. Chill dude.
It is amazing to me when people think they are the only one in the world with a particular creative idea. We’re all living in the same world and many of us are thinking similar things.
What in the world is “plagurism”[sic]?
One would expect such a fine specimen of “MENSA standards” to at least know how to spell “plagiarism”, or know how to use spell check. He can’t claim that the misspelling was a typo because he left out two letters, and the incorrect letter “u” is not close to the letter “a”.
And the beat goes on….. btw… I don’t have enough faith to be an atheist… I’ve seen too much.
Many of the founding fathers were in fact Christians as it the case they understood that a state sponsored religion would lead and eventually be another government like the one thewanted to free themselves from. For those founding fathers who had decided not to be religious at all, they to understood the implications of such. In order to build a better government they clearly wanted a “wall” as you know between the two and the freedom for “all” in that choice. It is difficult to legislate a perfect document that can accomplish this on its own since the ebb and tide of interpretation can vary based on many factors. The documents mentioned on here (Constitution n Bill o rights) can be indirectly linked to Christian beliefs because they were authored by such along with those that did not deny the exsistance of a “creator God” but did not choose to practice any particular religion for whatever reason or at all. They to wanted to protect their right to choose not to practice. Quote all you want but until you think on a better level other than your own narrow view you will not understand what was written.
Actually many of the founding fathers were Deists (meaning they believed in a “creator” or great architect) and NOT Christians although some were indeed Christians.
They were also pre-Rastafarians, because they liked to get high on pot. There is a letter from George Washington to some unknown person in which he complains about not separating male plants from the female plants soon enough. The main reason for keeping female plants unfertilized (Sensimillia)is to increase the potency of THC, the chemical that produces the high.
“Dr. Burke, president of the American Historical Reference Society and a consultant for the Smithsonian Institute, counted seven early presidents as cannabis smokers: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, Zachary Taylor and Franklin Pierce.”
As Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”!
The religion they wanted to practice is called slavery.
A silly article about a very serious matter. I loved it!!! But in maybe it’s time to back off on the Sarah Palin bashing…unless she announces her intent to run for the presidency…then it’s “no holds barred” (no, that is not in the bible). p.s. anyone who claims biblical authority for their arguments should actually take the time to read it.
Yeah. I think it’s time to substitute Perry for a while instead of Sarah. Then maybe put the two together later for extra laughs.
As if Obama/Biden is not the most ridiculous circus in American history?
As long a Palin keeps herself in the limelight and putting herself in front of a podium to babble, she is fair game, its ok to bash her. If she can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. She’s batshit just like Bachman.
I think “batshit like Bachman” just made it into my everyday-in-every-way repetoire.
“Hey, did you hear about they were extending the city limits?”
“Yeah – that’s batshit like Bachman.”
Jealous liberal air-head! Wow, you are transparent!
Dee, Palin is a paid Fox commentator, as long as she gets paid she will stay in front of any podium Fox wants… so you’re right, she will continue to be fair game. BTW… Bachmann has 2 nn’s and yes, she is whacky, batty, bat-shit.
Many of the founding fathers were in fact Christians as it the case they understood that a state sponsored religion would lead and eventually be another government. For those founding fathers who had decided not to be religious at all they to understood the implications of such. In order to build a better government they clearly wanted a “wall” as you know between the two and the freedom for “all” in that choice. It is difficult to legislate a perfect document that accomplishs this since the ebb and tide of interpretation can vary based on many factors. The documents mentioned in here can be indirectly linked to Christian beliefs because the were authored by such along with those that did not deny the exsistance of a “creator” by did not choose to practice any particular religion for whatever reason. They to wanted to protect their right to choose not to practice. Quote all you want but until you think on a better level other than your own narrow view you will not understand what was written.
Okay, first off everyone STOP ARGUEING OVER RELIGIOUS FREEDOMS!! Thats not what this article was about so stop shouting at eachother like five year ilds about it. Second, thank you to the author for bringing this to the medias attention. The GOP for all their bible toteing obviously have some members who are woefully ignorant of the holy scriptures. This may noy be their fault, the bible is a dense read ( I would know having gotten through it three times in only 18 years) and most have trust in their church to fill in the blanks and educate them on the parts they havent read. The issue as i view it isnt a matter of religious rights, its in the gross misrepresentation of on Jesus Christ by the GOP. Tgis group started out saying being christian made them by default of good moral character (yes fellow readers that is the insinuation when a politicians throws that bit of info in on their resume) but that their actions are not in line with what Jesus has stated makes a good christian so thus when they do things that anger the american public the politician doesny just look bad, Jesus and all hes said looks bad as well which hurts his image and business. Image of course being the loving forging saviour who pushed for major social reforms, and business being getting people to listen to his message and by extention support/act on it. Which for those of us that have not only read but debated the Bible (debated here is what i feel is truely important) would be able to agree the GOP has indeed lost Jesus business by doing things that are not only harmful to but the exact opposit of his message. His message being: it is the community’s job to take care of all members of the community ( meaning when you need for you get it and when someone else needs food you give it), turn the other cheek, love thy enemy as you love yourself, and finally ONLY GOD KNOWS/SHOULD DECIDE/ ACT ON WHO IS DERSERVING OF PUNISHMENT! This means if you steal food because youre hungry, yes you should repay and do penance for the debt and sin of stealing by mans law, but that does not mean man gets to decide if you deserved to be hungry for past sins. THATS GODS JOB.
So, stop argueing over religious freedoms, thats not what this issue is about and you shouldnt make it about that. PLEASE start debating over should these people be allowed to proclaim Jesus their supporter when they do the opposit of what he said to do and apparently in some cases have never even read his word. I personally think he has a right to sue and the money should be given to many different charities and social welfare programs.
Will everyone just shut up! I’m not suing the GOP. Both parties are full of it. I’m also not Christian. I’m Jewish. Last but not least, this nation was founded to provide a refuge and quality of life for peoples of all or no religion. The intent was to be free from persecution. Will all of you just shut up already? You’re persecuting each other.
Oh, and by the way, all that stuff in the Bible, it was written by politicians during the era of St. Paul, James the Just and Simon Peter, and later on, modified by the church courts of the Holy See, the Greeks and the Churches of England and Germany. Don’t believe any of it. Believe the 10 Commandments. God, our Father, sent them to humanity via Moses.
Meanwhile, something else that’s been bothering me: I’m not the son of God. Joseph was my father and Mary my mother.
So please stop spreading such dumb rumors, which started with Emperor Constantine. He was an idiot. He screwed up.
Have a nice day.
Priceless! I love it. Wish there were more like you.
Thanks JC:
As has often been the case, your words are pithy and wise. That’s the best summary of the bible I’ve ever read. I have long believe that this book belongs on a library’s fiction shelves. The “word of God” my ass.
At Amazon.com, the bible is under fiction. Just saying. and love Jesus’ rebuttal.
Thanks for clearing that up Jesus, it’s what I’ve always believed and I haven’t read the bible, nor do I intend to read it. A lot of clap-trap and incest if you ask me. The 10 commandments are good enough for me, and if everyone actually lived by them we would be a world at peace, instead of war.
And a side comment for some of you…
This country was not founded in ‘Christianity’ it was originally founded as a ‘commonwealth’… you remember… the Commonwealth of Virginia, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, etc… etc… The people needed to help one another with things like food, and shelter, as in the ‘common good’ (wealth) of the people in order to simply survive. Today the Republicans call it Socialism.
Moses was a fictional character. If you believe the human-invented GOD communicated to Moses through a burning bush, you should keep on reading the Bible until you realize that stories in the Bible are fiction. Fictional characters in the Bible were conflated with real events, real people and real places.
Moses parting the red sea NEVER HAPPENED.
Hey Jesus
Are you insinuating that you know more than the RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALIST,EVANGELIST CHRISTIANS?
You may be Jesus but your Christian conservative followers KNOW more than you about you.
if someone has 2 dollars and gives away one dollar. that’s caring.
if someone has 20 billion dollars and gives away 5 million…
that’s not caring. that’s a tax break they looking to get back.
if you give 10% of your paycheck to your church while poverty in your area is still on the rise and your pastor is driving in a lexus/bmw and lives across town in a nice big house.
you should stop giving your money to your church.
you will find God under a rock, not in your pastors hand
give with your right hand without letting your left hand know.
the right hand is the giving hand and
the left hand is the receiving hand-
live as he does not as some say he does
it is not Gods plan to have so many in charge that have lost their way and do not know what they do.
it is free will.
Jesus, took to the streets and demanded change.
He was a radical. He dared.
We are but sheep.
or shall WE stand, take to the streets, demand change
and live as He did?
Jesus’ agenda: Feed the Hungry, Clothe the naked, Shelter the homeless, love your neighbor, you reap what you sow. Republican’s agenda: Feed no one, Clothe no one, Shelter no one. Hate gays, people of other religions and atheists, hate immigrants; and everyone’s out for themselves. I like Jesus’ agenda better. The Republicans are not pro-christ, they are anti-christ; the Anti-Christ party.
Liberals are the ones who are so passionate about imposing their agenda on the Lord. Who are the haters again…..?
Why is it that the Sermon on the Mount seems to have been redacted from every copy of the Bible in the hands of Republicans?
The “rich” that Obama refers to include a lot of people who worked their butts off, were responsible and provide the majority of jobs in this country. I must save enough money each year so that I can retire, but I am taxed at such a high rate, that it is hard for me to just give away my services. The Government keeps me from being able to live up to the Beatitudes. They are still in my Bible, just made almost impossible to live up to.
that be funny there mike dalton.
93% of the wealthiest 1% of Americans got their money the old fashioned way. They inherited it! Now they work their butts off lobbying politicians for tax breaks so that they can keep it all and pass it on to their kids and future generations ad infinitum.
True that! thanks Reason and Lisa Norman. Mike Dalton’s comment is a funny, central-casting Republican answer. Maybe its parody too. Hope so, cuz its a joke
Excuse me. What business is it of yours or anyone else how much I make or how I obtained it as long as it was legal. Tax breaks for the wealthy create jobs. Proven over and over again.
Hugh – you misspelled “dis-proven”
True, that! Jobs in China, jobs in Vietnam, jobs in Bangladesh…just no jobs in America!
Trickle-down is a sham! give it up huge johnson. Tax breaks for the wealthy only make them more wealthy. I’m starting to think you are joking with all these ridiculous posts. You’re pretty much just spewing the lines of crap that the GOP has few fools to get votes and support. If you make less than $400,000 per year, the GOP is not acting in your interests
Love this type of satire!
THis is Great, I’m sharing this one!
This is untrue and reeks of being an op-ed article attempting to justify an opinion of conservatives based on one persons partisan position. Either way, it’s not true. Not that I am a GOP fan what-so-ever, but it’s a documented but arguable fact that the primarily middle class conservatives in this country donate heads and shoulders more to charity than most others particularly Liberals, and this is primarily through various denominational houses of worship. See, You can try to stereotype people all you like, but just because you say it, doesnt mean it’s true my friend. I dont know any of the evil people you speak of, but maybe I am just lucky. I like to think that most of what we can do can bring people closer together to strive for common ground as opposed to creating more distance.
This was the very first result in my search using “Who gives the most to charity in America?”, I will often post my first result instead of searching through them to cherry pick.
http://www.american.com/archive/2008/march-april-magazine-contents/a-nation-of-givers
@JuanOmegaIota:
When you’re doing your research, look up the word “satire”. You’ll find it instructive to read the definition.
Most middle class conservatives donate money to causes that can be used as a tax deductable donation. Middle class liberals donate wherever and whenever they can to help those in need, not just the ones that create a tax write off.
I am conservitive and donate monthly to charity, but don’t make enough to deduct from my taxes. So stick it
where do you donate? churches do not count as charity donations.
The Republicans don’t realize they have turned into the Pharisees, but if they were really following the letter of the law, they would realize there are only 2 laws: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus explained that my neighbors are not just the people who live in my gated community.
This is right up there with The Onion’s article after 9/11 “God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule”. God says, “Look, I don’t know, maybe I haven’t made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again,” said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. “Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don’t. And to be honest, I’m really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand.”
I wish this article fell under the heading of “It’s only funny because it’s true.” I’d love to see the entire GOP defend their ungodly actions under oath. They claim how righteous they are at the very same moment they are screwing the poor. Every single one Republican claims to read the Bible and not a damn one of them understand a single work of it. Mr. Christ, I wish you well in your lawsuit.
Screwing the poor? At the local free clinic I work at, almost every patient I see has at least $500 worth of tattoos showing. When did irresponsibility become a “qualification”? I know this is tough to hear, but almost all of the poverty I see comes with a drug habit, or at least a long history of poor choices. Try to look at the whole picture. I know that a lot of good people are poor- I was once poor and may be poor again, but it is not the fault of the GOP.
mike, i work as a social worker. i rarely see anyone i would classify as being irresponsible. they are just plain poor. when are people going to stop this lie about working places they don’t to spread the hate?
Really? A rather agenda-driven response…
The GOP sure as hell haven’t helped. They fight tooth and nail to stop people and organizations from helping. They use the guise of psuedo-moral issues, And they preach bullshit economics concepts to rationalize how not helping helps. Yes Mike, lets keep having policies to allow and help the rich to get richer and the poor to get poorer. Just let the bottom 80% of our rich superpower society wait at the bottom for your trickle down to never happen.
Well said! Just a little personal responsibility would be refreshing! Our entitlement culture mitigates against it, however…
there is a party that actually promotes an agenda that Christ might support; not that they invoke his name much…
gp.org/platform
… funny stuff, but Jesus might want to revisit these initial comps. I thought he had a kickass PR team… I mean, after all, his dad is omnipotent and all that, right? Maybe his dad knows somebody who can really pitch this story to a major global market. It’s a good start, but I don’t think it will fly. Consider bringing some new talent on board. I wonder if Rachel Maddow is available.
And don’t worry about trying to reach ALL CAPS JERKOFFS like sarahjc. They are beyond humor or redemption.
All is folly…
…all of it.
This tale reads as though it were written by a grade-schooler, with no clue as to that which he is writing except what a couple of his classmates have told him. Many of the comments read like remarks from other people with no clue as well, and also less knowlege of the English language.
I read and depend on scripture to have an idea of what My God expects of me. Some of these people have made up their own “kinder, gentler” God and what He expects of them. That’s fine and I will pray for them. I hope they always get to make up their own rules.
I just hate to see us stand in our own ignorance and condemn the research of this silly article when there obviously was none. Don’t dignify this any further. You people move on along- there’s really nothing to see here.
i’m sorry, but if god of the judeo christian religion really did teach hate, intolerance and greed, he doesn’t deserve to be followed.
RESEARCH ???? Get a grip, Don Martin. Jesus has been dead for a while now and he’s not really going to file a lawsuit. The point of this comedy piece is great and true: GOP politicians are full of shit when they pretend to be Christians and pretend to be motivated by their christianity and pretend to be acting ANYthing like he would have. I’m not a christian, not even a little bit, but I respect Jesus and even I’m insulted by their B.S. Also, this article is funny so everyone shut up and go post something at imissgeorgebush.net
Sure hope he didn’t file the suit here in Texas. First he’d be arrested at the courthouse for not having a valid picture ID. When he lost he’d have to pay both legal fees. It would be interesting, though, to see if Perry would recognize him.
Evelyn, do you even think Rick Perry would LOOK for someone superior to himself? Karl Rove coined the “Religious Right” and now he is blathering about everything BUT religion. As a Democrat and Christian, I suggest God is Jesus’ judge and his lawsuit will be what all those Republicans like to call a SLAM-DUNK case. I believe in the separation of Church and State, on which this country was founded? Where are the Republicans with that bit of information? Heck, it was a LOT of years, before UNDER GOD was added to the Pledge of Allegiance. Christ is safe, however…he filed his suit in NY…you know, the home of people like The Donald, who IS God, in NY.
That’s a good one. Perry is such a joke, but I fear the nuts on the right will nominate him. They gave us that other idiot from Texas, didn’t they?!
And then they’d deport him.
LOL!! It was a safe bet filing in the New York supreme court.
Oh how I wish this were true…:-(
Christians believe that it is up to the church (not government) to care for the needy. In that respect this piece of satire is correct. A Christian would fight against the government helping the poor and needy because that is a role owned by the church.
The church “owns” that role, does it? Interesting. When did they buy it, and how much did it cost?
Amended: “Christians who believe the same thing as ‘Some Dude’ believe that it is up to the church ….” Pretending that Christians all believe the same thing–when there are countless sects, cults, and subreligions that claim to worship Jesus–is one of the many things that’s wrong with the dialog on religion today. The fact is that many Christians believe that social security, welfare, and medicare are appropriate governmental expenditures.
As a Christian, I don’t care who is taking care of the poor and sick, only whether I am doing enough to help them.
This is the wisest, most Christian comment I have read on this post. Amen!
Another demented interpretation of the Bible. Sounds like something else Palin might have said.
I’d love to see the quote from Jesus: “It is up to the church (not government) to care for the needy.” WTH is that? It certainly ain’t in any Bible version I’ve read.
If i recall correctly Jesus said it was the COMMUNITY’S job to take care of the sick and needy. Since the government and church is part of the community, yes they are responcible by Jesus’s opinion. That also means though everyone else needs to help too. The schools, the shops, the individual. EVERYONE needs to be adding help ( be it donating labor, services, goods, or money to perchase the earlier mentioned) to the communial pot.
Beatitudes? Sermon on the Mount?
Wow, Dude. Your statement is general. I know many Christians that are pleased when the poor and needy are helped, regardless of who does the helping. Never have I read in the Bible that this is a “role owned” by anyone. It is simply the right thing to do. Well, until now, it seems it is the “left” thing to do. Christianity is not about “looking good” it is about doing good even when people condemn us for it. A Christian’s role is that of a servant. I would love to see our extreme right wingers wash the feet of the poor as directed and give up all they own to the poor. Not as a law but by their own choosing. A Christian rejoices when the will of God is done. We hold no ownership on His will, that would contradict His teachings that are for all.
Just saying….
I love my country and it is the only country that I can worship god in freely and with liberty but theses yahoos in washington are a bunch of crazies and need to be put down of there podium and put in there place that’s what I think but evidenlty god wanted them there or they would not be there it all part of him master plan. And god will have his say in the end and all these idiots that think they know how to run a country will be wondering what happend
Actually, gods son, there are several countries where you can worship in whatever way you want. The idea that the “crazies in washington” are there because god wants them there is hilarious. Wow.
Thanks to the FFR, it actually ISN’T a country where I can worship good freely. It might offend an athiest.
Cat – For the most part, atheists don’t care about you worshiping god. They think it’s silly and illogical, but don’t have any real interest in forcing you to stop. What they DO care about is when your “worship” involves promoting your beliefs through our secular government, and forcing others to participate in your worship against their will.
I only wish He WAS suing them, and others to whom breaches of the 3rd Commandment are part of their stock-in-trade. Ditto for the Father–in ANY language, including Arabic!
A blog BEGGING to go viral! Where do we sign up to be part of the amicus (friend of the court) brief???
If Jesus Christ doesn’t know how very liberal his teaching and example were, he can find out by studying the many pages that I have created over the years since 1996 for my http://Liberalslik eChrist.Org/ site.
J.C. doesn’t have a prayer on winning this one.
Especially if it goes all the way to the SCOTUS.
Your right…the judge is a Republican. He has not got a chance.
Very humorous, but highly inaccurate portrayal. If the author of this article had done ANY research, he would have found two things of important note: Jesus’s last name is NOT Christ; that is a title of the Greek ‘christos’ meaning “annointed one” or Messiah. Secondly, the image of “the Christ,” is that of a late 13th century artist – Jacques De Molay. His image is the one we know as Jesus as portrayed on the celebrated Shroud of Turin. Any newbie would know that a brown-skinned man of Middle Eastern stock, no more than 5 feet 7 inches tall would be the average height of one born of Jewish descent about 2000 years ago. Not a caucasian well over 6 feet tall.
@ C. Farmer:
Jacques De Molay was not a late 13th Century artist – he was the last Grand Master of the Knights Templar. Before you deride a piece of satire as ‘inaccurate’, do some REAL research and get your facts straight first.
Oh, so that’s where the DeMolay boys Masonic group comes from. Fascinating.
I think having the GOP call Jesus “Mr. Christ” was intentional on the author’s part to make them look even more like they have no real clue about the story behind the man that they parade around and pretend to care about. Also, the image the American ‘Right’ worships is very obviously a white man, as they would never worship someone of another race(!!!).
If Jesus returned today as one of middle eastern blood, preaching what Jesus is said to have preached 2000 years ago, he’d be in Guantanamo Bay or dead. Not a single member of the GOP would recognize him.
Personally I like the theory that he was an alien hybrid and that the ‘angel’ that got Mary pregnant was an alien. Then, at the end, he was “taken into the heavens” saying he (or another like him) would one day return. Makes a lot more sense than him being the son of a guy who sits on a cloud that occasionally sends floods and plagues down on the people below when they make him mad.
Eric Von Daniken is right!
“If Jesus returned today as one of middle eastern blood, preaching what Jesus is said to have preached 2000 years ago, he’d be in Guantanamo Bay or dead. Not a single member of the GOP would recognize him.”
QFT. Though in the spirit of fairness, I have to say probably a lot of non-GOP people wouldn’t recognize him either, howeversomuch they think they would.
One of my favorite books has a passage in which one of the characters muses that there was a time when people ascribed everything out of the ordinary to God. Nowadays, she wonders, if someone saw a burning bush that was not consumed, would they (a) get the hot dogs, (b) call 911, or (c) recognize God? She suspects that very few of them would recognize God (and for most of those who would, it would be because they’d missed a dose of Thorazine).
I don’t believe the alien theory any more than I believe the god theory, but it does make a helluva lot more sense… (c;
obviously the emphasis wasn’t held on those two facts.
C Farmer: No matter how many Wikipedia posts you plagiarize, you still are not that bright. What you wrote makes no sense.
I bet your jokes are real kneeslappers.
Jesus was a good guy. He didn’t need this shit. – John Prine
Awesome post! Just added you folks to my “best places to be” on my blog!
That really sums it up. The GOTP really believe that they’re the one’s who got it right and Christ himself is the one who is wrong.
If Sarah Pain has read the New Testament and can pass a 50 multiple choice and True or False questions, I will donate $100 to the RNC!
Sarha would need one more choice that would be “MAYBE”
Doesn’t look like Speaker John Boehner reads the Bible either.
I TYPE IN ALL CAPS SO PEOPLE WILL READ MY POST. I USE INCOMPLETE SENTENCES AND IDEAS TO THEN CONFUSE THE READER OF SAID POST.
As I’ve always said and believed. Too many right-winged conservative Christians..too few lions.
Right on, Cory M. (Or is it Left on?) More lions needed for sure.
I’m a fairly committed Christian: at church at least 2x a week, pray regularly. Frankly, lately I’d rather hang out with atheists.
G*d keeps talking to me and saying, “Who are these people? They SUCK! My lovely lions are hungry, but why feed them these poisonous…” Okay I can’t translate that, but it’s something like “I don’t want my lions to taste their hate.”
What does “fairly committed” mean? Attending church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than visiting McDonald’s makes you a hamburger. Don’t let yourself be deceived – “fairly committed” doesn’t exist. In the love of Christ.
Let there be lions!
I couldn’t agree more……….. man has deminished the lion population along wilh most other creatures. Seems to me if I recall right (back in my believer days) We were meant to take care of Gods creations that he loved so much. That’s why man was created. HAHA we sure messed that up.
Bumper sticker I saw on an old hippie’s Buick in Texas:
The problem with Baptists. is that they don’t hold them under long enough”
A brave dude to show that in Perryland.
I grew up Southern Baptist, attended a Baptist college. That was 40 years ago. I am no longer Baptist for the most part because they have gone so radically to the right. I am sure Jesus wouldn’t recognize them. Today I am a proud liberal Methodist. Funny though, I learned my liberal ways in the Baptist faith when they taught me about following the example of Jesus.
There goes that “attended” thing again.
Nazi Jesus the Aryan Messiah.Short assed big nosed arab is what he almost certainley looked like if he was as real as Easter Bunny & Santa Claus Fuck all religion I use it as a tax dodge IRS can’t discriminate Make up your own religion!
This is hilarious. If only. The real funny parts are the very realistic quotes from Palin.
This is a pretty godamn funny article! The sad thing is that, if this were to happen, this is exactly how it would play out…
Don’t apreciate you using my gods name lioke that devils understand devils but u cannot camand a devil if u talk the same language as HE does
I don’t even speak whatever language you are speaking, it looks like some malformed version of English, but I’m not sure.
That’s what the GOP relies on; the ignorance of the inadequately educated. It’s why they are trying to undue public education.
That’s undo not undue. Oops.
LOL!
I have tears running down my cheeks! These are some of the funniest remarks and satire that I’ve seen in YEARS!! And, most of you really get your thoughts across. In disagreeing, you are still being civil toward each other, too; which is highly unseen(and unheard of)of late. There may be hope for homo sapiens yet
Ahhhhhhhhahahahahaha! WIn!
There is a high correlation between the same people being christian and being illiterate. Not to mention hate-filled. You get all this irrational, hate-filled, illiterate rambling from them, you can usually tell they’re christian.
Oxccam, if you’ve look at the so-called christians long enough you’ll find out they’ve changed “hallowed be thy name,” into “hatred be thy name.” They even hate each other, actually more than they hate the liberals, one of whom would be Jesus Christ. Didn’t Jesus say, and I quote, possibly more accurately than Sarah quoted her version of the bible, “No rich man can get into heaven unless he bow low as his camel must bow low to pass through the eye of the needle.” A good Israeli once told me that there is a passageway in Israel (I believe in Jerusalem) through which a camel must bow low before being able to pass through because the passageway is built so low. Therefore, a rich person CAN get into heaven, but only by bowing (loosing his self-proclaimed exalted position) low and that includes helping anyone “under” him.
gods son, what was that language that you just used? Illiterate much?
What?
You should capitalize ‘God’ when you spell it, as it is a name. Also stop your mumbling. No one understands it when you mumble like that. Now go tell your parents that you used their computer AND you committed an awful sin by not capitalizing G-O-D.
LoL! I’m glad somebody gets the humor…
I think it’s a pretty goddamned funny article, too, and I don’t know what language YOU’RE speaking, but it sort of looks like English, except for the spelling, the punctuation, and the sentence structure. I guess we devils use actual grammar and you godly folks use txt. I wonder if you’re as uneducated as you sound. Besides, did Aric say it was YOUR god’s name he was using?
If your god is so great, how come he didn’t teach you to spell and construct a sentence?
If you love your God so much, you should appreciate her/him by correctly punctuating their name. You should also learn to spell. You are only perpetuating the image of the right-wing as being incapable of proper spelling or grammar; which is obviously true. When a group of people let their party tax the hell out of them in the “name of religion” to give tax breaks to the wealthy, you know that they have know idea what they stand for, aside from the religion of the dollar.
OMG….learn to read, write and spell. How embarrassing. Your god is not my God.
God’s Son – I love my lord, Jesus. I do not view this article as saying anything bad about God. On the contrary. They are standing for His words and teachings. We must be cautious to follow Him and not people that use His name in vain (for their own personal gain). Here are a few of many examples;
Matthew 23:15
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.
Matthew 23:14-16 (in Context) Matthew 23 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 23:23
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.
Matthew 23:22-24 (in Context) Matthew 23 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 23:25
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
Matthew 23:24-26 (in Context) Matthew 23 (Whole Chapter)
Sounds like Matthew was quoting someone who didn’t like the Republican Party.
Yes!!!!!!!! Hear, hear!
Go back to Iran you towel head.
As I am of the religion of Jesus (Jewish), I am not a Christian. Clearly the GOP and I have a lot in common.
anonlymous…the first Christians were also Jews. Most Jewish people I know, are Democrats. I’m sorry you feel like you’re better than the Christ who died for MY sins. You’re blatantly not a Messianic Jew.
Sounds uncommonly coherent of Palin, really. Wonder what Bachmann would have to say.
“Happy Birthday, Elvis!”
Where are some well-placed lightening bolts when we need them?
Amen, sister!
sometimes the republicans act like they think they are the most righteous or I should say more than the democrats I have been a democrat for over 50 yrs and I always thought we stood for the little guy people who need help am I wrong??
This just in: there are only two ideologies in America.
Right and Discriminating
You are right both parties are corrupted and need to be overhauled. Getting back to the article and particularly the Palin part. If she were alive during Christ’s time instead of stoning Mary Magdelin they woud have stoned dingbat Palin.
Nobody stoned Mary Magdalen; where did you get your biblical information from?
Yes. you are wrong. They actually make it worse for the little gut. Don’t drink the koolaid. Tea is a much better solution.
i think not. tea is for saving the wealthy, oh my bad “job creator” a couple of tax dollars to buy private jets. while the average tea party member fails to realize that obama has actually lowered taxes for them in the form of new deductions. i think you guys are the one drinking the koolaid. fact is that if you make under 200,000 per year (which nearly all tea party members do) you are actually saving money under obama. small businesses included, the tax applies to personal take home pay (not to money reinvested in the business. but you guys always lie about that part don’t you?)
I READ THE ARTICLE THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER WHILE THE HUMOR WAS FUNNY. THE FACT IS THEY ARE COMING ACROSS AS UNGODLY HEATHENS.DO WE REALLY NEED THESE SORT OF PEPOLE RUNNING OUR GOVERENMENT OR MAKING OUR LAWS. I THINK NOT. I ALMOST FORGOT GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.
Seperation of Church and State big guy. You want to pray to the big fake pie in the sky, good for you, but i don’t, and don’t want your religious beliefs being written into law in my country, through my government. In the Constitution as my right, don’t like it, wnat more God? Move.
Thanks for your b-ll.However you have that right to believe what you want.
That I respect!
poopies
Oh yea, and we don’t want your atheist beliefs, either. So what are we to do. My vote we all learn to accept and love each other. We are all entitled to our beliefs, that’s what’s grand about living in the USA. Our country was founded on Christian beliefs. One nation under GOD, In GOD we trust. Better get on board or your afterlife will be really hot.
Check you facts. The phrase “under God” was not added to the pledge until 1954.
While this country was founded on Christian beliefs it was also found under the premise of religious freedom as the Puritan who fled here from England wanted to be free from persecution which is why the separation of Church and state became so important. Somewhere in the 200+ years of history of this country, people have forgotten that, or just chosen to ignore it.
dont forget that it was explicitly stated in the treaty of tripoli that “the united states is not a primarily christian nation”. that document was signed by the president and then ratified by congress at the time of its writing. the founding fathers went out of their way time and time again to do everything they could to prevent religion from gaining control of government.
Wow. You are part of the problem.
Atheists don’t have beliefs.
This country was NOT founded upon Christianity. It’s very foundation, the Constitution, is completely secular.
You say we all have to accept and love each other, but in the very next breath you remind us all that we are going to burn in Hell if we don’t subscribe to your narrow point of view.
Idiot.
Perhaps one of the most ridiculous statements I’ve read in a long time…. Atheists don’t have beliefs! Really !
Soooo, you WANT to have a fascist dictorship monotheistic society? Yeah, I don’t think so. Freedom of Religion, baby. Better recognize!
The country was not founded on Christian beliefs. No where does the word Christ or Christian come into the Constitution. God is named. Maybe it is founded on Jewish beliefs, or the name is used to include all Gods.
Yeah, it really wasn’t founded as a Christian country. You know how I know that?
Well, it’d probably be good for you to pick up a copy of the Constitution of the United States. You can find it in any bookstore or library. You will note that neither God nor Jesus are mentioned in it, anywhere. In fact, you don’t have to get very far in to the document where you find the Establishment Clause. It’s a zinger – it says you can practice whatever religion you want and that there shall NEVER be an official state religion.
That probably flies in the face of what you BELIEVE, but that’s ok. You can take your bankrupted ‘values’, and stuff them
On nation under God was added to the pledge in 1954. Don’t kid yourself. Many of the founders were deists which is more or less a term for a Unitarian which for a politician today is more or less a term for atheist.
MarVal, BUY A CALENDER. This is 2011, not 1711. Wake up and smell reality.
Wow. Marval, you are ignorant.
Your eloquence and articulate wisdom will sway the masses and turn the tide of history with its power. /sarcasm
Where do I even begin to set you straight?
(1) The USA is not founded on christian beliefs. The founding fathers (another mass harm done to humanity by christianity: it didn’t want founding mothers) were Deists, agnostics, probably some atheists. See the Treaty of Tripoli and Jefferson’s bible. Check out Ben Franklin. There must be much more!
(2) “Under god” was NOT in the original flag pledge!
(3) “God” is also Jewish, Zoroastrian, and Muslim. An invention, maybe, but NOT a proprietary christian invention.
(4) Acceptance and love are practiced by Buddhists, Unitarians, agnostics, New Agers, atheists, and anyone else who wants to do so.
(50 You have demonstrated that love and acceptance are NOT practiced by you. “Better get on board or your afterlife will be really hot.” is full of hatred, self-righteousness, certainty that your belief is accurate, and hostility.
That’s a start.
THAT was beautiful!
On any church being associated with the founding of the United States, the issue was debated and the Establishment Clause was the result. It was a deliberative choice where I think only Patrick Henry voted for a church association with this new republic. He was out-voted.
Many states continued to have particular churches associated with their state governments. I think that lasted to as late as 1831. As our laws evolved, based on the Constitution and Amendments, it became settled law that the Establishment Clause stood for a separation of church and state in actual practice and any existing state churches had to be dis-established.
I like that the wonderfully long word I learned as a child, “antidisestablishmentarianism”, names the line of thought that these state churches should not have been disestablished. As a child, I had no idea of the meaning of that word.
My personal leaning is toward the facility of the Establishment Clause in the forming of our original and unique form of government. I do believe in God. My government is not restricted by any human-conceived notion of God. I like that.
Will you PLEASE show me in the US Constitution where it says that Church and State will be separate? You CAN’T you goof – because it never stated that anywhere in the founding documents.
Stop reading DNC talking points and actually do some research of your own.
Hey, Chuck – it says Congrees shall make no law respecting religion, the SCOTUS has *repeatedly* interpreted this as “separation of church and state,” and EVERYONE in government and most people of the US (up until now) have been satisfied with this interpretation. If it were otherwise, we’d have a theocracy in the U.S. no better than what the Muslims have in Iran – and it could be a LOT worse. You want that? I sure as Hell don’t. So, take your foolish implication that it’s OK to have religious doctrine as law back to Saudi Arabia where it belongs.
Here’s where it comes from, in the Constitution, in the writings of Thomas Jefferson, and in US Supreme Court decisions firmly and repeatedly established as based on precedent:
(quoted from Wikipedia)
The phrase “separation of church and state” (sometimes “wall of separation between church and state”), attributed to Thomas Jefferson and others, and since quoted by the Supreme Court of the United States, expresses an understanding of the intent and function of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. The First Amendment reads “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ….”, while Article VI specifies that “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.” The modern concept of a wholly secular government is sometimes credited to the writings of English philosopher John Locke, but the phrase “separation of church and state” in this context is generally traced to an 1 January 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, addressed to the Danbury, Connecticut, Baptist Association, and published in a Massachusetts newspaper. Echoing the language of the founder of the first Baptist church in America, Roger Williams—who had written in 1644 of “[A] hedge or wall of separation between the garden of the church and the wilderness of the world”— Jefferson wrote, “I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should ‘make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’ thus building a wall of separation between Church & State”.
Jefferson’s metaphor of a wall of separation has been cited repeatedly by the U.S. Supreme Court. In its 1879 Reynolds v. United States decision, the court allowed that Jefferson’s comments “may be accepted almost as an authoritative declaration of the scope and effect of the [First] Amendment.” In the 1947 Everson v. Board of Education decision, Justice Hugo Black wrote, “In the words of Thomas Jefferson, the clause against establishment of religion by law was intended to erect a wall of separation between church and state.”
Thomas Jefferson made reference to the separation of church and state in a letter he wrote to the Danburry Baptists in response to religious leaders who were trying to abuse their power as clergy to influence the government. This is a reference which has been used by the Supreme Court, as as such, is every bit as valid as the Constitution.
It’s called legislative intent Chuck…. The actual premise of the separation of Church and State comes from Jefferson’s letters to the Baptists of Danbury Connecticut. The baptist were fearful that they would be subject to the same persecution they were subjected to in England. The entire premise of Jefferson’s comments were based on the 1st amendment. So in essence you have nothing to substantiate your assertion that this is a “Christian” nation… If it were, we would be much like Iran or the other theocracies..
Your typical Greed Over People and self absorbed mindset in readily portrayed in your obtuse writing.
Mahatma Gandhi said it best, ” I like your Christ, but I don’t like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
I wasn’t aware that Christ advocated any sort of politics… Please enlighten me, obtuse one…..
Yeah, thanks for regurgitating Chrisitne O’Donnel’s talking point but if you bothered to pay attention in history class it is explained by Thomas Jefferson that there is a seperation of church and state. It is, however, clearly printed in the Constitution that government shall not establish a religion. Which is exactly the same thing. Nice try. You can shut up now.
You need to do your own research, Chuck (and MarVal):
http://www.nobeliefs.com/Tripoli.htm
Learn some facts.
First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ….”
A lot of people claim that the United States was founded on Christian beliefs but Thomas Jefferson is quoted with saying the US is “not in any sense founded on the Christian religion” in the 1796 Treaty of Tripoli. He is also the one who made the famous quote, calling the first amendment “a wall of separation between church and state” which is where the current phrase came from. That was where the precedent was set and where we have continued from. That stance has been quoted by the Supreme Court as well.
As to the comment that the US is founded on Christian beliefs, that is wholly incorrect. The Pledge of Allegiance is what many supporters of this idea point to when making their claim but the phrase “Under God” was not added to the pledge until the 1950s. In the Declaration of Independance it does mention God, the Creator, but this document pre-dates the Constitution. In the Constitution it does not talk about God. The Constitution also states “no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.” (Article 6, Section 3) If we are built on Christian beliefs, why would that be included?
One thing to keep in mind is that the Constitution talks about respecting no religion as well as prohibiting no religion. That statement is based on the idea of freedom OF religion, not freedom FROM religion. However, I am with the crowd that does not think that the Bible belong in our lawmaking process. After all, if we all followed the Bible there would never have been a United States:
“For rebellion as is the sin of witchcraft.” 1 Samuel, 15:23
The first amendment, The amendment prohibits the making of any law “respecting an establishment of religion,”, ring any bells?
How about the letter written by Thomas Jefferson(you know the guy that wrote the Bill of Rights) to the Danbury Baptists that says “I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature would “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” THUS BUILDING A WALL OF SEPARATION BETWEEN CHURCH AND STATE.” (I added the capitals.)
http://www.wallbuilders.com/LIBissuesArticles.asp?id=65
Dear Chuck:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Establishment_Clause_of_the_First_Amendment
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
There you go. There’s the bit in the Constitution where it says Church and State shall be separated.
You don’t even have to get that far in to the Constitution to find it – it’s right there in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights.
I’m thinking….that you’ve never actually read it, have you, and that you probably get your ideas from the radio…or Fox News. That’s sad.
Now that you have the facts, perhaps you’ll wake up a little to how badly you’re getting used?
Why so intent on believing a lie? You know, the easiest lie a conservative politician will EVER tell you is that he ‘shares your values’.
It’s right there in the First Amendment. You see, the people who risked their lives to establish this country were fleeing exactly the theocratic oppression and persecution that you would apparently welcome in the USA. In Europe, people were routinely tortured and burned alive because they did not accept the prevailing government sponsored religion, for example, Catholicism in Spain. The Vatican tried to depose and kill Queen Elizabeth when she defied the Pope and established the Anglican Church. And remember the Spanish Inquisition? Is that what you want to happen here? If you want to pray all day long in your home or church, that is your right, but don’t try to force your beliefs on me, and use taxpayer money to do it.
Queen Elizabeth did WHAT? I think you might find that her father defied the pope, good catholic defender of the faith that he was – he founded the CofE.
Don’t deny the persecution aspect, but please do not quote a parallel universe’s history while defending you own nation’s lack of history.
England lacks history? This coming from a country barely a few centuries old :S
Well genius, have you ever heard of the FIRST AMENDMENT? Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion…WHAT do you not get about that? Keep your religion in your home and your church. If you want to live in a Theocracy…I will personally buy you a ticket to Iran. You will love living in that oppressive society, I am sure.
Separation of church and state is implied from the 1st amendment, with freedom of religion. And through various legal precedents.
But you’re probably conservative, so I assume you’ve never heard of the Bill of Rights.
Now, you do some research of your own and stop trolling on a liberal website.
On the off chance you’re /still/ reading and shaking your head, following 20 different posts to check the First Amendment, let’s cite a different document to further show intent.
It’s just this quiet little document known as the Treaty of Tripoli. Specifically, I direct your attention to Article XI, which plainly states that this country — the United States — was not “in any sense founded on the Christian Religion”.
State and Religion are seperate issues and my constituional rights say that they should not be together…It is unconstitutional for politial figures to quote refer to or involve religion in any way with my goverenment…read the constituion..please.
THEN DON”T VOTE FOR A TEA-PARTY CANDIDATE because you will have a religious oligarchy that will make the Puritans of Massachusetts look like a extension of hell.
Dear Jesus Christ,
I’m with you and, I think you’d agree, no-one likes a hypocrite and the GOP seems to draw them in large numbers. I know it must get tiresome, too, having to answer all those prayers for miracles from Democrats. Oh, and let’s not forget everybody’s unwillingness to act on behalf of anyone other than party or self. Well, I’ll let you get on with answering Mr. Obama’s prayers for a miracle. Thanks.
Dear Lord, give Kathleen a clue as to Who You really are.
If your God had paid any attention at all to the USA he surely would not bless the USA. The USA’s history of the near past has caused the deaths of at least 6 million innocent people in the Middle East, North Africa,Mid Africa, Central and South America through the CIA terrorists, through illegal invasion, through the support of dictators and fascist regimes, through the DEA and its poisoning of peasants with defoliants, through the heavy use of Depleted Uranium, etc.
Wow, Ron! You really want to talk about innocent people dying? Oh yes, I forgot. For liberals, the only people who are NOT innocent are Americans! What country do you live in, by the way….?