Michele Bachmann Introduces Legislation To Require Gays To ‘Dress More Straight’

In what many are seeing as an incredibly bold move, Michele Bachmann introduced H.R. 22973 today, also known as the “Make Gay People Stop Dressing So Silly Act of 2013.”

The bill states:

“All people identifying as homosexual must begin mimicking the appearance of heterosexual members of their community, who are of the same sex, or face a fine of up to $5,000 or 1 year in prison”

The bill is expected to pass the Republican House of representatives with overwhelming support. House Speaker Boehner (R-OH) called the bill “the most important piece of legislation we are going to pass this year, since we really have no intention of passing any other type of legislation before the election anyway”.

Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said “stopping the homosexual agenda from spreading is really the number one thing American families are talking about, when they’re sitting around the dinner table discussing these types of things”.

Responding to critics who say the bill is homophobic, Michele Bachmann made the following statement;

“Many men living the gay lifestyle are trying force and ram their views down our throats by dressing the way that they do. There are plenty of recovered gay men who are perfectly capable of dressing like heterosexuals, some that you would never even suspect, even if you were married to them for 23 years. You might not even know that they are a member of the gay lifestyle until the media starts pointing out little things that you never noticed before. But that’s not the point, the point is that these people are more than capable of dressing like normal Minnesota folks, and I think the rest of America agrees”.

Many on the left are objecting to a provision in the bill which would make possession of glitter a misdemeanor, and “glittering” a politician a felony punishable with a maximum sentence of life in prison.

NOM calls this bill “a major victory in correcting the mistake of ‘Political Correctness’, which America made in the 1900s”.

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