In what many are seeing as an incredibly bold move, Michele Bachmann introduced H.R. 22973 today, also known as the “Make Gay People Stop Dressing So Silly Act of 2011.”
The bill states:
“All people identifying as homosexual must begin mimicking the appearance of heterosexual members of their community, who are of the same sex, or face a fine of up to $5,000 or 1 year in prison”
The bill is expected to pass the Republican House of representatives with overwhelming support. House Speaker Boehner (R-OH) called the bill “the most important piece of legislation we are going to pass this year, since we really have no intention of passing any other type of legislation before the election anyway”.
Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said “stopping the homosexual agenda from spreading is really the number one thing American families are talking about, when they’re sitting around the dinner table discussing these types of things”.
Responding to critics who say the bill is homophobic, Michele Bachmann made the following statement;
“Many men living the gay lifestyle are trying force and ram their views down our throats by dressing the way that they do. There are plenty of recovered gay men who are perfectly capable of dressing like heterosexuals, some that you would never even suspect, even if you were married to them for 23 years. You might not even know that they are a member of the gay lifestyle until the media starts pointing out little things that you never noticed before. But that’s not the point, the point is that these people are more than capable of dressing like normal Minnesota folks, and I think the rest of America agrees”.
Many on the left are objecting to a provision in the bill which would make possession of glitter a misdemeanor, and “glittering” a politician a felony punishable with a maximum sentence of life in prison.
NOM calls this bill “a major victory in correcting the mistake of ‘Political Correctness’, which America made in the 1900s”.
Isn’t this America??? Now people need to be told how to dress??? Is Bachman serious what a friggin waste of time she is. What are you going to be put in jail by the clothing police?? Fined by some “well dressed” meter maid??
I thought the article was hilarious…. The comments & replies were even funnier though (some were very sad, but still quite humorous).
Soooo, what is she coing to do about the young boys with their pants around their knees? They must be homosexual too?
so, crook your little finger,
give a little smirk,
throw a little glitter,
enjoy a little jerk….
oh, the money we’d save!
Of course it’s a joke. The site is called “NEWS THAT”S ALMOST RELIABLE.” See the other “articles,” like Jesus suing the Tea Party for defamation.
Maybe they should introduce Legislation to keep people with no brains from entering politics.
Guys. It’s satire. It’s just an exaggeration of a preexisting bill.
Anyone up for a bill to make Marcus Bachmann spend some time in a nice Meatpacking District club in NYC to go respect his latent sexuality?
Next step: build a memorial to Adolph Hitler.
so much for idnependant though creativity and freedom of speach.
she just wants to censor people.
another freedom gone.
next thing she will be doing is issuing out tattoos of pink triangles of people and putting them in concentration camps.
wait i think her husband already started one. where they try to screw someone up turning them straight?
and that practice has been deemed by the AMA as dangerous to the poor individuals going through it.
Doesn’t she look tired?
Folks, this is a joke. It is meant to be satirical. It is not true. Try to lighten up and laugh.
Before we embarrass ourselves, people, it’s a joke.
It is sad that the congress is so far to the right people ACTUALLY think this is real news! At no other time in history is something this outlandish actually possibly passable in the congress of the United States. Such a shame. Lets get these rightwingers, tea partiers, or should we just call them what they are… the same old evangelical christian right that has been around bugging the US, and the sensible moderates in the Republican party for the last 40 years. They have a new name, and a cool little bus, but they are still the same idiots. Kick em out, and get some real pragmatists in office!
It is so funny that people think its real but it just goes to show how far out she is in actuality.
Jeez! It appears that almost half of actually believed that the story was real. No wonder the left has such extreme views of the right.
Michele Bachmann refuses to admit her hagfaginess
I thought WE were the fashion police!
It had me going for a minute but then the 23 years of marriage and the rest. Freaking hilarious, but you know it’s probably not too far from some of the far right really think. Thanks for the smile.
What is REALLY scarey is the amount of people who believe this “tongue in cheek” piece to be true!
I am truley amazed. Really, you think this is real?
Hilarious, but NOT real.
But then, i suspect that many of that political stripe WOULD pass legislation like this, if they could get away with it.
This is about Michelle Bachmann after all, so something like this is within the realm of the possible.
Does that mean I have to dress like she does?
HR2297 is the veterans benefit act of 2003. I cannot find any REAL news regarding this story whatsoever. Where are the references? Where did the writer get his information for this article?? Stop making up crap and posting it as “news,” when it’s just lies. Please submit references!
This is satire! Look at the title of this website! Free Wood Post NEWS THAT’S ALMOST RELIABLE.
You’re an idiot
Wow, shawoman, has it been so long since you used your critical thinking muscle that it has completely atrophied? If you weren’t quite THAT stupid, you would be embarrassed by your own post. At the moment, it’s probably a good thing you are, because you will be spared knowing what an ass you made of yourself. Now go back and re-read the spoof article and see if you can figure out what’s wrong with your response. [hint: the answer is in my last sentence]
What, exactly, in the Constitution gives the Congress power to regulate what people wear? Perhaps Republicans believe the 10th Amendment only reserves to the States the right to enact proposals favored by the left, but not things favored by the religious right.
Did any of you bother to look up HR 2297 (http://www.cbo.gov/ftpdocs/48xx/doc4880/hr2297.pdf) and see what it actually was? (It’s about Veteran’s benefits, and it was passed in 2003, just so you know.) This is just a very amusing exaggeration of Ms. Bachman’s (and her cronies) overall ridiculousness.
Wow! Almost as good as The Onion. Bet you guys hate The Onion.
It’s called satire, folks. If you don’t know what that means (and you obviously don’t), get a dictionary and look it up. Jeez!
This is tongue-in-cheek…..
Mr. Cantor, that’s funny. My family and most others that I know, either don’t care, or or actually FOR the homosexual agenda.
Scary! Really, really scary! Most of the gays I know actually DO dress as heterosexuals… especially in the work place. So what will be next? Making Ellen Degeneres wear a skirt?
I thought the criminalization of dressing in the opposite sexes attire went out with Joan of Arc! (Not really… do tea baggers use hyperbole? Never mind… it’s their only form of communication!)
@Linda: This article is a humor piece, not actually a real news story.
thats what my wife thought–I was pretty sure it was real. Well, can you blame me???
Yes, I agree. Next, let’s take down all dem hippies. Make them kids cut their hair! Except the girls, don’t let them wear short hair. We need normality in this heterogeneous nation. Let’s make the Jewish population stop wearing those silly hats. Let’s make the art students and hipsters stop wearing ridiculous glasses with no lenses. Hell, let’s just issue a nation-wide uniform. That’ll fix our problems.
Good idea!
Not!
HELLO ! ERIC CANTOR this is NOT what families are concerned about OR are talking about around the dinner table. I don’t get how these guys could be SOOOOOOO out of touch and be in such powerful positions in OUR government. It’s soooo scary. :/
I can’t believe that you don’t realize that this is a joke!
I’m no fan of Bachmann, but as Herman Cain said in a recent debate, “Americans have to learn how to take a joke”.
I can’t believe people think this is real. (Although since it’s Michele Bachmann, it is believable.) Is there a link to this on Fox News or something?
@Linda I know it is sosososo easy to think that they would actually do something like this and I thought this was actually true until the part about the glitter and the left saying that they opposed only that provision. And then looking at the top of the page and seeing that the NEWS THAT IS ALMOST RELIABLE PART. ya gotta watch out for the onion news too LOLOLOL
this is the MOST rediculous thing i have ever heard of in my ENTIRE LIFE
I agree, for a minute I thought it was April fools day.. What an idiot.
I had to double-check that this wasn’t a stopry from the Onion. This can’t be real. those can’t be real quotes. Boehner would never admit to having no intention of passing any other legislation before the election next year.
This site is for political satire.
You folks don’t get out much, do you?
You have got to be kidding me. Money and time wasted on this… Puuuuleeeez. She needs a real wake up call. Talk about shoving something down someones throat. Mrs. Bachmann this is why they call this a free contry. We can wear anything we damn well pleaze. Grow up woman.
uh oh.. shame on me…lol