Americans Deem Dick Cheney Back In Spotlight As Torture

Americans Deem Dick Cheney Back In Spotlight As Torture

With former Vice President Dick Cheney back in the spotlight to cherish the memories of when he led the effort to torture people violating the Geneva Convention, many Americans are left feeling a lot of discomfort and uneasiness seeing his face again. Becky from Wisconsin said: “I thought he was gone. Why do we need to be reminded of the worst eight years this country has ever seen? His war profiteering and supposed legalized torture have tarnished the American brand […]

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Police Officer Fired for NOT Using Lethal Force

Police Officer Fired for NOT Using Lethal Force

Lee County, Kentucky – A white police officer in Lee County, Kentucky has been fired for not using lethal force on an unarmed black man. Ten-year veteran officer Pete Dobbs and his partner responded to a 911 call about a suspicious black man walking down Marion St. at 2:13am on Monday night. Upon arriving on the scene the pair witnessed an African American man, Trevor Whitmore walking down the street in a largely white neighborhood. Five other police cruisers arrived […]

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Police Officer Panics Playing ‘Monopoly’ With Actual Possibility Of Going To Jail

Police Officer Panics Playing ‘Monopoly’ With Actual Possibility Of Going To Jail

In a small town in Pennsylvania, a local police officer named Herb Frinkelbalm sat down to play the board game ‘Monopoly’ with his family over the weekend. As his kids were setting up the game and laying out all the money, pieces, and cards, Frinkelbalm seemed unnerved about something. He looked down at the table before him and noticed something was missing. Something in his every day life he’s used to and takes advantage of — he didn’t automatically receive […]

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Obama Pardons Turkeys, Republicans Scream Executive Overreach

Obama Pardons Turkeys, Republicans Scream Executive Overreach

Today President Obama took part in the time honored tradition of pardoning two turkeys on the eve of Thanksgiving. This may seem innocuous enough, but it has some Republican fuming. Congressman Darrell Issa, known for his many futile probes into Benghazi screamed executive overreach and is calling for a full investigation. Issa had this to say, “He [Obama] should first get approval from the Congress before pardoning anyone. This isn’t a monarchy. He has taken his executive powers too far.” […]

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Fox News To Bring On Darren Wilson As ‘Law Enforcement Specialist’

Fox News To Bring On Darren Wilson As ‘Law Enforcement Specialist’

After the release of the Grand Jury decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson over the death of Michael Brown, Fox News was quick to react. Upon noticing how popular the police officer is with their viewers, Fox News quickly negotiated a contract to have Wilson as a regular contributor to their broadcasts. Wilson’s official title will be “Law Enforcement Specialist” and he will appear during all police related matters as they occur on the network. The new contract will […]

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Ferguson To Hold Pumpkin Festival To Calm Media Depiction Of Riots

Ferguson To Hold Pumpkin Festival To Calm Media Depiction Of Riots

After the failure to indict Officer Darren Wilson of Ferguson, MO after the shooting death of Michael Brown, many took the street to voice their displeasure. There were peaceful demonstrations alongside massive riots, as well as immense property damage, and the media caught it all on camera. Many networks depicted the peaceful protesters as the rioters and made sure they looked one in the same. In an effort to give the displeasure in the lack of an indictment more legitimacy […]

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Read The Truth About All-American Moses Only Texas Is Brave Enough To Tell

Read The Truth About All-American Moses Only Texas Is Brave Enough To Tell

It’s an age old story, and Texas schoolbooks have it right — After a long life of being floated down a river in a basket, raised by someone else, receiving the Ten Commandments, and parting the Red Sea, Moses knew he had just one more thing to do. The Biblical hero decided he would get in a small boat and traverse the treacherous waters of the Atlantic, live for thousands more years off berries, corn, and apple juice, then when […]

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Many Angered By Obama Remembering The United States Is A Nation Of Immigrants

Many Angered By Obama Remembering The United States Is A Nation Of Immigrants

There has been a broad debate regarding immigration reform in the United States, but one side of the argument seems to forget one simple notion — the USA is a nation of immigrants, and has been from the very beginning. It’s kind of the USA’s thing. With President Obama signing executive actions into place solidifying paperwork for millions that will help them work, stay with their families, and hopefully gain legal status within the coming years, many have expressed their […]

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Rand Paul Prepared To ‘Self-Appoint’ Himself As President

Rand Paul Prepared To ‘Self-Appoint’ Himself As President

Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky is no stranger to making sure he gets the job he wants even though he’s not qualified. He even went so far as to certify himself as an ophthalmologist when he couldn’t become certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology. He became the president of his own “National Board of Ophthalmology” that he operates himself. Knowing he got away with it the first time he seems to think he can figure out a way to […]

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Ted Cruz: ‘Only The Wealthy Should Be Allowed To Thrive’

Ted Cruz: ‘Only The Wealthy Should Be Allowed To Thrive’

In a moment of honesty, Texas Senator Ted Cruz revealed what he truly thinks about prosperity in the United States. In an open forum to undergraduate students at Liberty University, Cruz opened up about how the country should ideally be run, at least in his opinion. “You’ll hear all the time about ‘equal opportunity for all’, but what is that really? I’ll tell you. It’s liberal mumbo jumbo for ‘giving poor people a chance.’ However, why are they poor? They’re […]

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John Boehner: ‘The President Insisting On Doing His Job Makes Us All Look Bad’

John Boehner: ‘The President Insisting On Doing His Job Makes Us All Look Bad’

WASHINGTON DC — After the recent defeat of several incumbent Democrats many are looking the the nation’s leaders to see what direction the country will go in next. President Obama mentioned that he will veto bills he doesn’t approve of and write executive actions for policies not accomplished in an extremely gridlocked Congress. Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) recently sat down in an exclusive interview with Free Wood Post. FWP: Speaker Boehner, what are your plans for the next couple months […]

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NFL Tax Exempt Status Explained: Football Recognized As Religion In USA

NFL Tax Exempt Status Explained: Football Recognized As Religion In USA

For years, many have wondered why the National Football League (NFL) receives a tax exempt status. All of the teams are for-profit entities, but the NFL seems to get away with being, somehow, nonprofit. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell explained in an exclusive interview with Free Wood Post that the reason the NFL is categorized as a not-for-profit is because football is a religion in the United States. “Football is a sacred sport in here. It’s a religion. People have dedicated […]

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Red Bull Sued As People Complain They Never Sprouted Wings

Red Bull Sued As People Complain They Never Sprouted Wings

It appears Red Bull has gotten themselves into a sticky situation, and not just their product spilling all over the floor of some bar somewhere. Several consumers of the energy drink are upset because they never sprouted wings post-consumption as the product suggests in all advertising. “I really wanted to fly like a bird,” said Tiffany Crumple of Florida. “I drank a good twelve gallons of the stuff, stood in front of the mirror and nothing. I waited for days […]

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Julia Roberts Quarantined For Infectious Laugh

Julia Roberts Quarantined For Infectious Laugh

MALIBU, CA — Several witnesses at a local market in Malibu, CA were taken off guard when a severely wonderful sound passed through their ears and they were overcome with the overwhelming urge to giggle. Jill of Calabasas said, “I turned around and I saw Julia Roberts standing behind me in line talking to someone on her phone and laughing. Before I knew it, I was laughing too, and so were three or four other patrons standing around me. It […]

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