Speaker Boehner: ‘President Obama needs to more or less do more and less’

Speaker Boehner: ‘President Obama needs to more or less do more and less’

WASHINGTON D.C. — Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) held a press conference this morning addressing the growing crisis’ around the nation. From border protections, to jobs, to Meatloaf Mondays in the Congressional cafeteria. “He’s incompetent! He does everything on his own without Congressional approval,” said Speaker Boehner waving his fist to a crowd of eight at the local Washington DC Denny’s. “Then I asked him to do something without Congressional approval, and he won’t do it. What’s wrong with him?! My […]

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Trump To Build New Luxury Apartments: Back Alley Entrance For The Poor

Trump To Build New Luxury Apartments: Back Alley Entrance For The Poor

Donald Trump has announced he will build five new luxury apartment buildings in the heart of Manhattan with separate entrances and elevators for the poor tenants. Earlier this week the New York Department of Housing Preservation and Development approved the Extell Development Company’s bid to build a high-rise apartment building featuring fifty-five low-income units among the complex’s 219 luxury units. Extell caused controversy when they building plans showed a separate entrance for the low-income renters. Now that Extell’s bid has […]

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Oklahoma Town Swallowed Whole by Massive Earthquake: ‘Fracking Not To Blame’

Oklahoma Town Swallowed Whole by Massive Earthquake: ‘Fracking Not To Blame’

BREAKING Blanchard, Oklahoma: In the early morning hours the small town of Blanchard Oklahoma, population 7,670, was hit by a devastating earthquake. A massive sink hole opened up directly under the peaceful community and essentially swallowed the town whole. Blanchard lies South East of Oklahoma city and is largely an agricultural city. It is also home to hundreds of fracking and injection wells. Even before they have damage and casualty reports, Republican officials in the state were quick to state […]

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New Study Finds Telling Your Kids About Gay People Won’t Scar Them For Life

New Study Finds Telling Your Kids About Gay People Won’t Scar Them For Life

Despite conservative backlash, intelligent people are grateful that this study has confirmed what they have been saying for years.

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GOP Introduces Bill To Remove ‘The New Colossus’ From Statue of Liberty

GOP Introduces Bill To Remove ‘The New Colossus’ From Statue of Liberty

With the recent surge of undocumented minors coming across the border from Central America, the GOP wants to modify the Statue of Liberty and remove anything that resembles welcoming immigrants. “That was the old us,” said Speaker John Boehner. “We’re full now and can no longer be a nation of immigrants.” Senator Ted Cruz, an immigrant himself said of the new bill, “If these kids were coming from Canada they’d be welcomed with open arms, but they’re not, and they […]

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LeBron James To Become His Own Team, ‘Answer To No One’

LeBron James To Become His Own Team, ‘Answer To No One’

There’s been a lot of speculation as to where basketball star and champion LeBron James will end up next now that he is a free agent and no longer wants to continue on with the team that’s provided his glory. Well, the wait is over, and James is taking the ball into his own court (pun intended). He’s decided to become a one man show and form his own team, the King James Pioneers. James will of course design the […]

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Wal-Mart Declares Itself to be a Christian Scientist to Avoid Providing Any Medical Insurance

Wal-Mart Declares Itself to be a Christian Scientist to Avoid Providing Any Medical Insurance

It didn’t take long. Following on the heels of last week’s disastrous decision in the Hobby Lobby case that opened the door for corporations to impose their religious beliefs on their employees and opt out of paying for certain insurance benefits; Wal-Mart has gone a step further. CEO Douglas McMillon announced today that the world’s largest public corporation, Wal-Mart had become a Christian Scientist and would no longer offer any medical insurance to any of its 2 million employees. Christian […]

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Clamnado Hits Boston

Clamnado Hits Boston

You’ve heard of the science fiction movie Sharknado, where Los Angeles is besieged by tornadoes flinging angry great white sharks into the unsuspecting populace? Well, Boston just got a taste of flying sea food. We’re calling it CLAMNADO! A severe storm has been making its way up the eastern seaboard for the last couple of days. It made landfall in Boston earlier today. Many Bostonians were surprised by the tornado alerts going off throughout the city. What was more unexpected […]

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Supreme Court Rules Corporations Can Force You To Attend Church

Supreme Court Rules Corporations Can Force You To Attend Church

Once again the Supreme Court has ruled in favor of corporations.

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Sarah Palin Says Independence Day Is For Remembering When Jesus Led The Revolution (IMAGE)

Sarah Palin Says Independence Day Is For Remembering When Jesus Led The Revolution (IMAGE)

Sarah Palin’s latest gaffe has people shaking their heads.

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Speaker Boehner: ‘President Obama needs to more or less do more and less’

Speaker Boehner: ‘President Obama needs to more or less do more and less’

WASHINGTON D.C. — Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) held a press conference this morning addressing the growing crisis’ around the nation. From border protections, to jobs, to Meatloaf Mondays in the Congressional cafeteria. “He’s incompetent! He does everything on his own without Congressional approval,” said Speaker Boehner waving his fist to a crowd of eight at the local Washington DC Denny’s. “Then I asked him to do something without Congressional approval, and he won’t do it. What’s wrong with him?! My […]

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LeBron James To Become His Own Team, ‘Answer To No One’

LeBron James To Become His Own Team, ‘Answer To No One’

There’s been a lot of speculation as to where basketball star and champion LeBron James will end up next now that he is a free agent and no longer wants to continue on with the team that’s provided his glory. Well, the wait is over, and James is taking the ball into his own court (pun intended). He’s decided to become a one man show and form his own team, the King James Pioneers. James will of course design the […]

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File under Bizarre: Always Maxi Pads Now in Pumpkin Spice Scent

File under Bizarre: Always Maxi Pads Now in Pumpkin Spice Scent

Just in time for Fall, Always brand feminine pads, you know the one with wings, is coming out with a new scented line of products.

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Omniscient God Forced to Destroy 99.999999999% of His Creation

Omniscient God Forced to Destroy 99.999999999% of His Creation

EARTH – Heavenly God of Creation, maker of heaven and earth, knower of all there ever was and all there ever will be, was forced to destroy practically the entirety of creation after deeming them a bit too much on the wicked side. “You know, you plan these things…and sometimes things just don’t turn out. Hey, it happens. Nobody’s perfect. I don’t know how anybody could have expected something like this to happen. Sure, there was that angel brief entitled […]

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