Duck Dynasty Cancelled After Robertsons Accept Roles Within Trump Administration

Duck Dynasty Cancelled After Robertsons Accept Roles Within Trump Administration

Everything is moving forward just as we expected.

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Hillary To Seat Random Stranger From Local Applebees In Front Row Of Debate

Hillary To Seat Random Stranger From Local Applebees In Front Row Of Debate

“If Trump thinks he can be random with Obama’s half-brother, you just wait and see what I’ve got up my sleeve.”

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Trump FURIOUS ‘Rigged’ Media Has Audacity To Report Words Coming Directly From His Mouth

Trump FURIOUS ‘Rigged’ Media Has Audacity To Report Words Coming Directly From His Mouth

With Donald Trump dramatically falling in the polls daily, especially after tape came out where he admitted to sexually assaulting women, he doesn’t seem to know what to do. In an effort to combat the narrative that he is a sexual predator, because he is, Trump is now going after the media, claiming the election is “rigged” against him. Sitting down with Free Wood Post, Trump explained: “The media is rigging this election against me! It’s totally biased and unfair. […]

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Trump To Seat Four Women He Hasn’t Sexually Assaulted In Front Row Of Next Debate

Trump To Seat Four Women He Hasn’t Sexually Assaulted In Front Row Of Next Debate

In another move aimed directly at Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s campaign, Republican nominee Donald Trump plans to seat four women he’s never sexually assaulted in the front row of the next Presidential debate October 19th in Las Vegas. Pundits are calling the move a slap in the face to Clinton and a direct repudiation of the narrative that he’s an aggressive sexual predator. Appearing at the debate with an entire slate of four women whom he has never sexually […]

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Target Easing Fears Of Sexual Assault With New Trump-Only Bathrooms

Target Easing Fears Of Sexual Assault With New Trump-Only Bathrooms

Target is investing millions of dollars nationally to ease the public’s fears of sexual assault in its restrooms.

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Republicans Forced to Carry Non-Viable Candidate to Term

Republicans Forced to Carry Non-Viable Candidate to Term

They will have to carry their non-viable candidate to term no matter how much damage he may be causing to the Republican party.

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United States Creepy Clown Problem Getting Out Of Hand

United States Creepy Clown Problem Getting Out Of Hand

This epidemic is growing and it’s terrifying.

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Donald Trump: Of Course I’ll Use Twitter To Bully ISIS Into Submission

Donald Trump: Of Course I’ll Use Twitter To Bully ISIS Into Submission

“I’ll be the best ever at tweet-shaming all those losers over there.”

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Trump Still Hoping To Appeal To ‘Idiots Who Pay Taxes’

Trump Still Hoping To Appeal To ‘Idiots Who Pay Taxes’

Mr. Trump still believes he can appeal to the sorts of fools who might pay taxes.

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Wealthy And Famous White Man Has Never Had His Race Held Against Him

Wealthy And Famous White Man Has Never Had His Race Held Against Him

Hall of Fame NFL coach Mike Ditka made news recently by telling San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick to stand for the national anthem or “get the hell out of the country.” In his comments, he singlehandedly debunked Kaepernick’s startling claims of racism and instances of police overreach in the United States. Ditka pointed out that he, a football player who was selected in the first round of the NFL draft, had immediate success on the field, retired immediately into […]

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Trump To Seat Four Women He Hasn’t Sexually Assaulted In Front Row Of Next Debate

Trump To Seat Four Women He Hasn’t Sexually Assaulted In Front Row Of Next Debate

In another move aimed directly at Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s campaign, Republican nominee Donald Trump plans to seat four women he’s never sexually assaulted in the front row of the next Presidential debate October 19th in Las Vegas. Pundits are calling the move a slap in the face to Clinton and a direct repudiation of the narrative that he’s an aggressive sexual predator. Appearing at the debate with an entire slate of four women whom he has never sexually […]

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Missing All The Negative Attention On Him, Tom Brady Tries New Haircut

Missing All The Negative Attention On Him, Tom Brady Tries New Haircut

I’m supposed to be the most hated in the league.

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Red Bull Sued As People Complain They Never Sprouted Wings

Red Bull Sued As People Complain They Never Sprouted Wings

It appears Red Bull has gotten themselves into a sticky situation, and not just their product spilling all over the floor of some bar somewhere. Several consumers of the energy drink are upset because they never sprouted wings post-consumption as the product suggests in all advertising. “I really wanted to fly like a bird,” said Tiffany Crumple of Florida. “I drank a good twelve gallons of the stuff, stood in front of the mirror and nothing. I waited for days […]

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Kanye Asks Wife Kim To Make Another Sex Tape To Raise One Billion For ‘His Dreams’

Kanye Asks Wife Kim To Make Another Sex Tape To Raise One Billion For ‘His Dreams’

Well, that’s certainly one way to do it.

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