Bill O’Reilly Discusses His Recovery From PTSD After Last War On Christmas

Bill O’Reilly Discusses His Recovery From PTSD After Last War On Christmas

  After Bill O’Reilly’s claims that he was in the Falklands during the time of the war in 1982 has drawn such criticism, he would like people to focus on his latest trauma. He was in a war, and he battles it every year. In fact, he is the leading soldier in this battle that is the longest war in history — THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS. Free Wood Post recently sat down with Bill O’Reilly to discuss his recurring PTSD […]

Continue Reading →

With His Love For American Entertainment Kim Jong Un Auditions For New Episodes Of Jersey Shore

With His Love For American Entertainment Kim Jong Un Auditions For New Episodes Of Jersey Shore

  It seems the rumors have been confirmed — with Kim Jong Un’s new haircut making headlines, his desire to be on the all new episodes of Jersey Shore have come closer to reality. Un’s love for American entertainment is no secret, and now with this new Pauly D ‘do it’s safe to assume he’s ready to make his big debut. The only catch may be that he will have to film episodes in North Korea because he will likely not […]

Continue Reading →

With Contenders Lining Up, Top Republican Officials May Resort To Using Hologram Reagan For 2016

With Contenders Lining Up, Top Republican Officials May Resort To Using Hologram Reagan For 2016

As more Republicans start eyeing a potential bid for the White House, top Republican officials are starting to get nervous. They know they are likely going to end up going against Hillary Clinton, and when they looked at who they have to run against her, they realized they don’t have much of anyone. It is rumored that RNC Chair Reince Priebus needed to be consoled out of the fetal position where he lay weeping over what he has to work […]

Continue Reading →

Rick Perry Forming Exploratory Committee to Locate and Retrieve Head From Rectal Cavity

Rick Perry Forming Exploratory Committee to Locate and Retrieve Head From Rectal Cavity

  In what many are pointing to as related to a possible 2016 Presidential run, former Texas Governor Rick Perry has recently made quite a few speaking appearances throughout the country. But just recently, Perry has officially formed an exploratory committee to attempt to locate and retrieve his head from his rectal cavity. “We ran into some trouble last time around. Almost put my foot in my mouth… you know… if I had actually opened my mouth in time. But […]

Continue Reading →

Christian Right Enraged Over McDonald’s ‘Fifty Shades’ Bondage Toys

Christian Right Enraged Over McDonald’s ‘Fifty Shades’ Bondage Toys

The catch phrase “I’m Lovin it” has taking on a whole new meaning with McDonald’s partnering with the popular film Fifty Shades of Grey on their latest Happy Meal toys. The mega-corporation couldn’t pass up the chance to co-brand on several new toys. The kids can choose from festive floggers, fuzzy handcuffs, multi-colored whips, ball gags and blindfolds. According to a McDonald’s representative, the girls’ toys consist of the blindfold, ball-gag or fuzzy cuffs. The boys’ toys are the whips, […]

Continue Reading →

Kanye West Now Official Spokesman for Massengill Douches

Kanye West Now Official Spokesman for Massengill Douches

In a press release today the marketing department at Massengill announced that for the first time ever a man will represent one of their products. Kanye West, the famed rapper/producer has been chosen to be the first ever male spokesperson for Massengill Douches. Massengill has been providing cleaning products and feminine hygiene products since 1898. When asked why they chose Kanye for this honor, Massengill public relations director Clive Cluster had this to say: “We’ve been toying with the idea […]

Continue Reading →

Jon Stewart To Take Over For Brian Williams At NBC: ‘He’s America’s Most Trusted News Anchor’

Jon Stewart To Take Over For Brian Williams At NBC: ‘He’s America’s Most Trusted News Anchor’

As Brian Williams is likely to be stepping down later this year, television’s most trusted news anchor, Jon Stewart, will be stepping in. This news has been confirmed by Stewart’s departure from The Daily Show. America knows and loves him, and cannot wait for him to begin his new adventure of delivering honest news to a broader market. In what can only be seen as a rite of passage for Stewart, he’ll be filling some big shoes, but shoes he’s […]

Continue Reading →

Netanyahu Is Now The GOP Front-Runner For 2016

Netanyahu Is Now The GOP Front-Runner For 2016

With contenders lining up to become the next potential Republican nominee for President of the United States in the upcoming 2016 election, one man is standing out among the rest as the front-runner — Benjamin Netanyahu. John Boehner is already asking to be his potential running-mate. He honestly can’t get enough of the man, which is evident by his overreaching of power as Speaker of the House inviting Israel’s Netanyahu to speak to Congress in March. Boehner doesn’t care though […]

Continue Reading →

New Evidence Suggests Tom Brady Ate His Wheaties Morning Of AFC Championship

New Evidence Suggests Tom Brady Ate His Wheaties Morning Of AFC Championship

With the news of New England Patriots’ footballs being insignificantly deflated in the AFC Championship against the Indianapolis Colts starting to dwindle in the media, a new startling allegation has been made known. ESPN is reporting Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady has been accused of performance enhancing. New evidence suggests the star QB ate his Wheaties the morning of the game. “This is outrageous!” said Seattle Seahawks Cornerback Richard Sherman. “Who’s to say he’s not going to eat Wheaties again before […]

Continue Reading →

NFL Determines Soft Balls To Blame For Colts Inability To Get Past New England’s Defense

NFL Determines Soft Balls To Blame For Colts Inability To Get Past New England’s Defense

In a statement released by the NFL earlier today, it has been determined that the Colts couldn’t get past the New England Patriots’ defense due to the Colts’ soft balls. “After a thorough investigation looking into why the Indianapolis Colts lost so drastically to the New England Patriots, it has been determined that Andrew Luck and his offense had absolutely no luck at all scoring against the steadfast brick wall of the New England defense. The Colts were found have […]

Continue Reading →

With Contenders Lining Up, Top Republican Officials May Resort To Using Hologram Reagan For 2016

With Contenders Lining Up, Top Republican Officials May Resort To Using Hologram Reagan For 2016

As more Republicans start eyeing a potential bid for the White House, top Republican officials are starting to get nervous. They know they are likely going to end up going against Hillary Clinton, and when they looked at who they have to run against her, they realized they don’t have much of anyone. It is rumored that RNC Chair Reince Priebus needed to be consoled out of the fetal position where he lay weeping over what he has to work […]

Continue Reading →

New Evidence Suggests Tom Brady Ate His Wheaties Morning Of AFC Championship

New Evidence Suggests Tom Brady Ate His Wheaties Morning Of AFC Championship

With the news of New England Patriots’ footballs being insignificantly deflated in the AFC Championship against the Indianapolis Colts starting to dwindle in the media, a new startling allegation has been made known. ESPN is reporting Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady has been accused of performance enhancing. New evidence suggests the star QB ate his Wheaties the morning of the game. “This is outrageous!” said Seattle Seahawks Cornerback Richard Sherman. “Who’s to say he’s not going to eat Wheaties again before […]

Continue Reading →

Red Bull Sued As People Complain They Never Sprouted Wings

Red Bull Sued As People Complain They Never Sprouted Wings

It appears Red Bull has gotten themselves into a sticky situation, and not just their product spilling all over the floor of some bar somewhere. Several consumers of the energy drink are upset because they never sprouted wings post-consumption as the product suggests in all advertising. “I really wanted to fly like a bird,” said Tiffany Crumple of Florida. “I drank a good twelve gallons of the stuff, stood in front of the mirror and nothing. I waited for days […]

Continue Reading →

Kanye West Now Official Spokesman for Massengill Douches

Kanye West Now Official Spokesman for Massengill Douches

In a press release today the marketing department at Massengill announced that for the first time ever a man will represent one of their products. Kanye West, the famed rapper/producer has been chosen to be the first ever male spokesperson for Massengill Douches. Massengill has been providing cleaning products and feminine hygiene products since 1898. When asked why they chose Kanye for this honor, Massengill public relations director Clive Cluster had this to say: “We’ve been toying with the idea […]

Continue Reading →
x

FOLLOW FREE WOOD POST